Review: His Naughty Waitress by Bella Love-Wins

I read His Naughty Waitress by Bella Love-Wins for the “I’m a Waitress!” category of the Heaving Bosoms Reading Embrace.

This is a very, very short read, only 69 (*snicker*) pages. The premise is simple; a billionaire and his friends stop by a diner on their way to their annual hedonist retreat. There they meet the heroine, a waitress stuck in a small town in a dead-end job. The hero and the heroine hook up in the bathroom and then he invites her over where they hook up again and she agrees to go back to New York with him and they are in love. It’s most contemporary romance novels just ramped up on speed to hit the required page limit and not go too far over while still giving the reader an HEA and a minimum of two sex scenes. Both were written well. I don’t read many billionaire novels (this may have been my first actually) but he was the right balance of cocky without being an arrogant dick head which is the way I feel most billionaires skew. If you want a breezy read, pick this up. It’s one in a series I probably won’t be reading but it’s still good fun.

Review: Snow White and the Seven Murders by Amorette Anderson

Trigger Warning: A character has cancer, repeated discussions about diets

The process getting to this book was a comedy of errors.

First, I was reading Enchanted which I DNF’d (Did Not Finish) because I just wasn’t feeling it. Then I thought ok, fairytale retelling, let’s do this, absolutely forgetting that I wasn’t reading Enchanted for a fairytale retelling. No, I was reading Enchanted to fulfill the “Frog” category of the Heaving Bosoms Reading Embrace which I decided to interpret as a “Frog Prince” retelling. I didn’t realize this until 30% into this short read and decided to just see it through. Hopefully the next review you’ll see here will be for “Frog” though I won’t lie, it’s hard for me to find one that interests me so far.

Snow White and the Seven Murders is a “romantic cozy novella” that takes the Snow White characters and story and gives it a modern twist. In this story, Sara White writes articles for the business column of a paper with her friend Cinda (yes, last name Rella). Her stepmother hates her because they both competed in a beauty contest and Sara took first. I don’t know if this means that her stepmother is around her age or if it was just a broad age range competition, the author leaves it up to the reader to decide. In any case, her stepmother made her life so difficult she chose to leave and move into a room rental at a cottage where seven older blue collar workers live.

Quick note: Would read a novella about Snow White and seven mature men who make a living with their hands. Just throwing that out there.

The novella is quickly paced but not so much that I felt like I was missing important information. Sara covers a story about the acquisition of a rare earth elements mine that has been bought by a new company, owned by the dashing and handsome Prince Amir Malick of Qu’abar. The company was up for sale because the owner died suddenly and as Sara does research she finds that all six rare earth element mines that have been snatched up by Prince Amir’s competition also died before being bought. She fears Prince Amir is in danger and senses that her business story is much bigger than it seems and pursues the clues.

As I said, I enjoyed the pacing of the story. It didn’t lag in any places and I felt that the reader touched on the major hallmarks of the Snow White story. I enjoyed the twist that Sara was the one saving the Prince. There was some stuff that felt a little confusing, like the beauty contest angle and the fact that Sara’s big secret that her stepmother threatens to expose is that she didn’t finish school so she doesn’t have a degree. This is only an issue because technically I think she’s not qualified to do the job she has at the paper and only has it because her dad is the editor. And while I understand that blackmail sucks, I have to admit all I could think was she genuinely wasn’t qualified so if she had to go back and get her degree that seems fair? Also in the end she’s offered a scholarship so clearly the news about her lack of degree comes out anyway.

The choice to make the Prince a person of color was well-intentioned but the language and choices around his characterization felt a little off. Sara stresses over how to pronounce his name which I somewhat understand because you don’t want to insult someone but also… Amir Malick is not hard to pronounce. That just felt a bit like unintentionally reinforcing the way white people view names that aren’t Germanic by going “ooh it’s so Different and Exotic how to pronounce??” Also she talks about how she expects he gets around via camel and holds a bunch of really unfortunate stereotypes about what she expects the Egyptian prince’s life to be like. I will warrant that maybe the author was trying to acknowledge these stereotypes most Western people have, and the prince does correct her, but it still rankled a little. Especially since she aspires to be a newspaper editor and you would think she might have an interest in familiarizing herself with global affairs. Also, and this is a small thing that I may be blowing out of proportion, he is described as a handsome Egyptian man with dark hair and “caramel skin” (not cool – do not describe people of color as foods) and then he takes off his sunglasses and he has striking blue eyes. And I know that no eye color is specific to one region or race, but we so rarely get appreciation and representation for brown eyed protagonists and it felt like a real missed opportunity to describe and appreciate eyes that aren’t the classic Princely Blue.

Another quite note about something that I felt was an odd choice that took me out of it a bit was Cinda’s consistent talk about the diets she’s on. When it starts she’s doing Paleo and somewhere in the middle she talks about possibly switching to another diet. It felt oddly out of place and inconsistent with the character. It might have just been done to help the reader really understand that these are Modern Women with Modern Women Issues but maybe let’s not have the main personality trait of a character be that she’s always on a diet. Maybe let’s leave that in the 90s.

Overall it was an alright read. I don’t feel compelled to keep reading in the series but I did like the twist on the classic story. Also the cover and descriptor of the novel as a romance felt a little bit mismatched. The characters definitely flirt with each other and share a kiss but the romance felt very second tier in importance. Granted that might have just been my bias reading it because I was more interested in the story and newspaper aspect of things. It was also a quick read so if you’re looking for something light and quick, this is probably a good choice.

Review: The Fairy Bride by Tess Mallory

This is the last Mallory work I’ll review here and it’s going to be quick because it was a novella. Mallory wrote The Fairy Bride with the intent to possibly go back and flesh it out to become a full length novel. At this point I don’t believe she’s done this but you can tell that she was writing something she loved when you read this story.

The prose is very reminiscent of a fanfic story you write in high school and that is not an insult. High school fanfic writers are as varied in talent as any grown up, published author. What they have that sometimes gets lost over time is a deep love of what they’re writing that translates from page to reader. Mallory is clearly dipping into a world that’s been on her mind for awhile and I really appreciated getting that sense from her which was nostalgic for me. Unfortunately, that’s about all I can say for the story.

It’s a simple tale of a fairy king who has to marry or his country will be invaded (there’s bloodline stuff involved in this) and there is a soulmate for him to find and once he does they will both be in love. He is sent to where his soulmate is and there she is, a human who is engaged to a dick of a man (a trend in Mallory’s writing). She ends up leaving him, she falls instantly in love with the fairy king as he does with her, and they thwart an evil plan to overthrow the kingdom and everything ends happily.

It don’t have any specific complaints here as I did in the last works by this author. It just didn’t grab me and I found some of the worldbuilding hurried and a bit complicated. If she did write this series I don’t think I’d read it simply because fairies aren’t typically my jam and how they are in this series isn’t bad but definitely doesn’t speak to me. If you enjoy fairies and felt things as a child while watching Thumbelina (and to be honest I did too but then Dmitri happened) you should give it a read. It’s not a huge time investment and it may spark the desire to go back to doing some fanfiction writing yourself.

Review: The Party by Mona Ingram

The Party is the first in the Dear Santa holiday romance novella series by Mona Ingram. This review will be quick because the novella was quick and nothing happened.

I mean, things happened. A struggling catering employee relaxes a bit at the end of a big party for a fancy tech company at the invitation of a man she assumes is a fellow caterer. He is in fact the tech company’s mysterious CEO instead! Bum bum BUUUUUUUM!!

They are attracted to each other, he starts to court her, he meets her young brother who is on the autism spectrum and immediately takes him under his wing. The two fall in love and her brother gets his dream job and a girlfriend and everyone is happy forever and ever amen.

There’s no real conflict in this book. Even the reveal of who he is goes without much ado. I have nothing to really say against Ingram or her book. It read like how I play the Sims. Nothing bad happens because there’s a pleasant sense of escapism in entering a world where you can make things turn out ok. I can’t hate it, but I can’t say I feel compelled to read the rest of the series. Check it out for a little palate cleanser after something troubling or stressful happens in your life or in the books you’re reading.

Review: Remembering a Witch by Lauren Connolly

I was especially excited to get to this review because I know the author! Kind of! We both listen to Heaving Bosoms and are in the fan cult (which we had before MFM) and that’s how I heard about this book! You guys know that I love supporting self-publishing authors so here is another opportunity!

Remembering a Witch was the book I ultimately read for the Because Witches category of the Reading Embrace, after I disqualified Slouch Witch for that title. I’m so glad I did this. In the words of the author herself, “REMEMBERING A WITCH is a 16,000 word paranormal romance novelette perfect for people who like pumpkins, pit bulls, and professors with sexy ginger hair! This story is inspired by the autumn equinox and is just the thing to welcome in the colder seasons.”

Guess who loves all of those things?

*points at self*

Specific reasons I loved this include excellent pacing, likable characters, good sex, and a satisfying mystery and conclusion. It’s hard for me to share much because it is so short that I don’t want to spoil anything so those are the broad strokes. The synopsis does a better job selling you on this book than anything I could write, honestly. If you like those things, this book has those things. If you don’t like those things, you may still like it cuz it’s written well but also that’s ok and there are other books out there for you.